Managing Your Emotions

How do you deal with your emotions and emotionally tense moments? The second week of my very first appointment out of seminary I called a lady who lost her husband the month before I arrived. This task was assigned to me (I was on staff as an associate pastor) as a kind of pastoral care “jump into the water” moment. I was nervous and at the end of my phone call I said, “Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.” This widow responded “How can you help me? You don’t even know me!” I mumbled an apology and hung up the phone. I’m pretty sure I went into a fetal position under my desk. I have and had then, too, thin skin. My embarrassment and anxiety were creating stress and I didn’t know how to handle it. I probably didn’t even know what to name that feeling much less handle it.

I participate in a reading group for United Methodist clergy in my district and this month we read and discussed the 12 year old Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. I understand that over the years there have been some real criticisms about the scholarship of this book but nevertheless there are some very helpful parts of this book. I learned a lot about identifying emotions - a very good first step - and am working on managing my emotions and how I react to them. It is not easy to do but I believe it is important to model for others emotional maturity as we grow as Jesus’ disciples. The way of the cross means a lot of dying and dying is not something that I often want to do. If I want to be a servant leader this is something we must pursue. If had reacted to the widow in the first paragraph in an emotionally mature way I might have been able to help her deal with her pain (NB: She same by the next day to apologize and hug my neck).

I have been keeping a journal of some sort since I was 13 years old and last night I took some time to read through a couple of old journals dating back to 2003 up through 2006. One of the things that I noticed about some of my entries is the immaturity of my emotional responses to people like my colleagues and even my wife. It’s only by God’s grace that I’ve grown considerably during the last few years. I still see a lot of room to grow but I’m confident knowing that God has begun a good work in me and that he will be faithful to complete it.

What areas of your emotional life do you need to yield to God as the Holy Spirit shapes you? Is there any emotion you are holding onto, unwilling to give up?

Technorati Tags: discipleship, matthewjohnson, reflection

Zen and the Art of Church Maintenance

One of the strategic goals for the conference in which I serve is to “move from maintenance to mission”. What this means is that they want churches to stop maintaining the status quo of making sure everything stays exactly the same with no growth for the kingdom and no prospects. They want pastors to stop leading in that way and start lighting a fire of mission to the world.

I happen to think it is a great goal for the conference. I’ve seen changes take place over the last few years, mostly under the leadership of our current bishop, that excite me. I’ve heard people complain that he is “old school” - I don’t know if that’s true but if it is it’s exactly the type of leadership we’ve needed. The changes I see are ones that I believe have been designed to move us from maintenance to mission.

But why do we still see a small number of churches actually doing that?

I’ll qualify my question by saying that I’m not in the conference leadership so my observation might be total ignorance. My gut says that there are some churches striving to be missional but there are far more who want to maintain. Thus my question: Why?

My intuition and experience tell me it’s because moving and changing and convincing people to sacrifice on behalf of a larger goal is hard work. That’s not to say that our pastors are generally lazy, although some are, but it might be that some of us don’t have the guts to lead in a way that leads to the kingdom of God coming to bear in the life of a church.

I’m not being judgmental. Quite the opposite: I’m empathetic. Leading to mission means things are going to change in the lives of people. This is difficult and emotional. At some point in our ministries we are going to have to determine whether we’ve got the guts to do it and I think this is why we have so many churches committed to maintenance. Some of us are so concerned with job security and ladder climbing that we’ve lost the courage to lead which in turn leads to maintenance instead of a passionate and Spirit-filled mission.

Are you maintaining in your church? Do you fear what it might mean to move into mission?

Technorati Tags: Church, future, leadership, matthewjohnson, mission

What Do We Want?

From Seth Godin’s blog this morning:

What you have doesn’t make you unhappy. What you want does.

And want is created by us, the marketers.

I almost said the same thing Sunday morning and I was trying to make a little bit of a different point from Mr Godin, but the more I think about this quote the more disturbed I am.

What are the growing churches and the Christian publishers out there doing if not convincing people that what we want is what they are selling. If we don’t have it, we aren’t happy. I see this almost daily when people say, sometimes without speaking, “Look at what these other churches have or are doing. We don’t have that. I want it and I’m not happy that I don’t have it.”

Can anything be more soul destroying in a church, of all places, than to be unsatisfied with the music, preaching, teaching, or even the taste of the coffee? This is definitely one of those few but solid places where I side with John Piper. If our desire is anything else but Jesus we are missing out on being satisfied, even in the midst of our worldly dissatisfaction. Jesus isn’t going to swoop in and turn your worship leader into Matt Redman. He’s not going to turn your preacher into Bill Hybels. He’s not going to make sure you have Krispy Kreme’s every Sunday morning.

What Jesus promises is that if we desire him we will have that desire satisfied. Jesus says in John 6:35 “Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”
Are you unhappy with your life, your church, or your ministry? Come and eat.

Technorati Tags: Church, Jesus, ministry, marketing

Death By Love

Death by Love is a new book by Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church, Seattle.  I’ve always enjoyed Mark’s books because he’s entertaining and he makes me think.  I don’t always agree with him but I have been blessed by him in many ways.  One of the blessings I have experienced recently was reading a sample chapter of this new book which can be found here.  It’s a book that takes a look at the many layers of Jesus atoning death on the cross.  This sample, like the other chapters in the book, is in the form of a letter.  It is highly pastoral as well as theological in the way it communicates the meaning of Christus Victor.  I’m looking forward to reading this book.

Also, if you’ll click on the icon in the left column of the page to which you are being directed, you can watch an amazing video advertisement of the book.  It is really well done.

Technorati Tags: books, atonement, reading, theology

Co-dependency in Ministry

I just finished reading a great post at PastorHacks about “the Co-Dependent Pastor“.  It spoke to me in a powerful way this morning.  I am announcing a change for our church’s worship schedule on Sunday morning and I’ve been experiencing a lot of ups and downs during this week about it.  One day I will feel totally confident about the decision.  I’ve filtered it through a definition of wisdom I learned from my friend Mike Harris a year and a half ago: Wisdom is doing the right thing at the right time in the right way in the right spirit.  I’m confident that this decision has met these criteria.

But, the next day I worry and worry because of how some of our folks might react.  I’ve spoken with a lot of people about this and the general response is, “It inconveniences me in some ways, but if it is good for the church I’ll support it.”  I should be thrilled at this response as it is a very mature response.  But I’m still worried to death about what those who haven’t been involved in the process will say.  I don’t take criticism well.  I don’t take disappointment well which has led to some apathetic leadership moves on my part over the years - a lot of non-decisions.

My prayer is that God will focus my heart and my emotions on Jesus and leave my dependency and self-worth with him in order to be the pastor he has called me to be.  May my confidence be in Christ and nothing else.

Technorati Tags: church, leadership

Beginnings

I’m not going to make a habit of posting pictures from vacations or of the cat I do not have (I can’t stand cats), but I did want to post one picture from our family trip to visit my paternal grandmother in Minnesota.  I’m consistenly amazed and sometimes amused when I think of the ways God turns and shapes our pasts and circumstances into something useful for his purposes.

For all the trouble I’ve caused and potential I’ve left littered behind me, God still sees fit to use me in ways that can only be attributed to grace.  And as best as I understand it, we began in this church I photographed last week.  This is the church in which I was baptized barely four months after I was born in May of 1977.  My parents pledged to raise me to know and love Jesus and this church pledged to help them do so.  As far as I know, I’ve not stepped foot in that church one time in the last 31 years.

But, that baptism was a promise, not by humans but by God, that I would be tethered to the church for better or for worse.  God’s grace has been overwhelming since that day and I trust that even through iffy beginnings and careless sin and mishaps over the years, God will still, through that same grace, bring me home in the end.

The Bible Again

Yesterday, I finished reading the Bible from cover to cover.  For the first time in my life.  And I’ve been in ministry for 5 years.  I am ashamed which is why I confess it - I have, by God’s grace, overcome at least a portion of my undisciplined life and I am grateful.  I followed the Bible in 90 Days plan but finished about four days early because I was so close to the end that I just kept reading. 

My wife said I should celebrate so I did.

By starting over
I tried to read quickly the first time to get a good overview and now I’m going to go a little more slowly and pick up some details that I missed the first time around which were legion.  This iteration will involve, at the minimum, my naming of the chapters (one of the first steps in the inductive method) and general observations of the Bible.  For instance, I just finished the first 16 chapters of Genesis and one of the things I noticed was some similarities between Noah and Abram.  Both were told to “Go” by God - Noah in Chp. 8 and Abram in Chp. 12.  They were told to “Go” from places not their home - the ark for Noah and Haran for Abram.  They both received promises from God - never to destroy the earth with a flood for Noah and land and offspring for Abram.  They both entered into covenant with God as a ratification of those promises and those covenants involved symbols - the rainbow for Noah and the pot and torch passing through the sacrificed animals for Abram (circumcision is on the horizon, too). 

Those observations may not add up to anything but I thought they were interesting nonetheless.  I doubt I’ll blog the next 90 days of Bible reading but I might bring out what I’ve found from time to time.

Technorati Tags: bible, matthewjohnson, ESV, reading

Howdy

I’m still here. I hate being busy but I’m trying to always be in haste and never in a hurry. Jesus is awesome and I’ve been able to experience that head knowledge several times this week, especially as I spoke and helped at a Girls Chrysalis Flight. God bless them and I pray that they may follow the Lover of their souls with a full and reckless abandon.

Check out these awesome posts from Jared Wilson. One, which I’m going to use at my Church Council meeting this afternoon is the difference between an “attractional” church versus a missional church. Good stuff and very helpful. The churches in the US expect too much in “attracting” people instead of going out and getting them. Like Jesus did. Duh!

The other link for Jared is this awesome initiative his church is moving toward. Oh, that more churches would live this way! They are truly living the ideal that the world is our parish.

Technorati Tags: Church, discipleship, matthewjohnson, Prayer

Prayer Before Study

Even though I am staunchly in the Wesleyan-Arminian theological tribe, I have often received spiritual nourishment from pastors and theologians of other traditions. While still in college, someone passed me a cassette tape of a talk given by John Piper to the Evangelical Theological Society. I don’t remember all of the talk, but I remember it was about how God’s place in all of life, including theological education, is right in the center of everything. I remember him saying something similar to this: There wouldn’t be a need for spiritual formation classes if a prayerful professor modeled a life of devotion to God. I took two spiritual formation classes in seminary but I could have sailed through without them because of the professors I had for other classes so in some sense Piper was right even though I loved the two classes I had with Reg Johnson.

The other thing I remember Piper talking about Reformed theologian B.B. Warfield who was told by someone that ten minutes in prayer was worth more than ten hours in the books to which Warfield replied, “What, more than ten hours over your books on your knees?” In other words, why not be prayerful in your study? I wanted to model this kind of study while in seminary but I didn’t actually do it. I don’t have many regrets in my life but not taking seminary more seriously than I did is number two on my list. I’m learning to do things now that I should have practiced then. The funny thing is, I knew what I ought to have been doing back then, I just didn’t do it. For example, and the reason for this post, here’s a prayer I wrote when I was in the middle of a class on the Pentateuch during my second semester. It’s based on Psalm 119 and I hope you find it helpful as you study the Bible on your knees.

Prayer of Consecration for the Studying of Scripture

Lord, I come before you dirty, dry, and empty.
In my heart there is hate and in my mind, filth.
Incline my heart to Your testimonies and
Make my mind understand.

I have drawn water from dry wells and I need
You to revive me with Your Living Water
According to Your Word. Plant me by the
Streams of living water in Your Word.

I am a disobedient child. You have ordained
Your precepts that I should keep them diligently.
Teach me Your statutes that I may delight in
Your Law instead of fleeing it.

In this time of study, with all my heart I seek
You, do not let me wander from your commandments.
Open my eyes that I may behold wonderful things
From You, Lord. Let me not forget Your Word.

I will delight in Your statutes and laws. Please
Open my heart to Your Spirit and guide me
In meditation and study so that Your Words
Will be written on my heart.

Technorati Tags: bible, Prayer, study

The Genius of Multipliers

I have a huge backlog of The New Yorker at home and just before throwing away one from May I glanced through the table of contents to see if there were any articles written by people I have read before. Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point and Blink was one of those listed so I sat down to read his article “In the Air“.

One of the most interesting parts to this essay is the story of Intellectual Ventures, an organization that pretty much brainstorms good ideas that they then roll into patents and inventions. There’s really more to it than that, but you’ll have to read the entire article if you are interested.

I have some friends in ministry that will find this essay fascinating - they are innovators in ministry. Me? Well, I have a lot to chew on with regard to biblical interpretation. I know that’s not the direction most people will take after reading Gladwell’s essay, but I’m weird like that.

Technorati Tags: bible, essay, innovation, essay, NewYorker